


Forward Steps

by Techmaturgics



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Inbox prompt, M/M, post shurima, this occurs after my namesong fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-27 23:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15695244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Techmaturgics/pseuds/Techmaturgics
Summary: Jayce returns from Shurima after almost a year and Viktor is there to talk.





	Forward Steps

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt I received on my blog and so I wrote for it. I edited a little bit and now here it is. I'm soft for Viktor and Jayce. I also need to finish that other fic. Too many projects and not enough time. But I always have time for my boys.

“It’s been almost a year.”

The voice startled Jayce. Or rather it rattled him to the core and struck him harder than he expected it to. His breath caught in his chest for a moment then completely escaped Jayce when he saw him.

A tall figure, lean and full of hard ends and soft cloth. A familiar figure. One he had long expected that he wouldn’t see so soon. But here they were. Jayce didn’t say anything.

Viktor sat down beside him and Jayce felt weird about this all. It was almost too casual an action after all that had happened between them.Then again that was years ago. Still, he hadn’t expected Viktor to be the one to see him first. Jayce remembered the nights he struggled just to try to put this man from his mind. How hard he tried to make him out to be the bad guy when in reality he knew Viktor wasn't. It was just easier to blame someone else for his problems.

Seeing Viktor here now, it sort of ruined all the courage Jayce had been trying to muster up to see Viktor himself and apologize. He couldn’t even speak. His mind was blank as he watched Viktor out of the corner of his eye.

The sun was setting. Vivid reds and oranges bled into the evening sky, racing behind the sparse clouds toward the horizon. The ocean beyond glittered and winked back at them and Jayce found the sight nostalgic. He used to come here, to this hilltop and sit here under the maple tree as a kid. He had watched the world go by.

“Your hair has gotten longer.”

Jayce swallowed. He turned to Viktor and was stunned to see him looking at him. He was without his mask, the metal shield sitting between them on the wooden bench like some unspoken boundary. Jayce didn’t dare cross it. He rubbed the back of his neck, knuckles brushing against the tips his hair. He had tied it up before coming up here, his hair having grown long enough to bind into a small, pitiful ponytail.

He had forgotten about it after staying in Shurima for most of this year. It wasn’t until he had returned to Piltover a couple days ago that he noticed it.

“Yeah. I should get it cut,” Jayce said, feeling a bit awkward and trying to sound more casual than he ought to. It was hard not to stare back. He couldn't even remember what Viktor had last looked like without that mask, but he was even more handsome than the foggy memories he had kept close, albeit a bit older looking. There was considerably more gray hairs than Jayce remembered him having. Tired face, intense eyes and sharp features. Jayce couldn't stand to look at him anymore. If he did he knew he would fall right back in love with him.

“It doesn’t look too bad.”

That took him aback. Jayce opened his mouth to reply but found no words. He pressed his lips together, brows furrowing. What was Viktor getting at? What’s with this weird meeting they were having? Jayce couldn’t comprehend it. He wasn’t one to beat around the bush either even though he had been when it came to actually confronting his own feelings.

“Viktor,” he said slowly, hands pressed together in his lap. He wanted to outright ask him why he was here, but he felt like that didn’t really matter. He was here and Jayce had his chance to actually talk to him properly. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears and his breathing picked up. He wanted to say so much, honestly. But he couldn't piece together anything coherent and instead found himself apologizing.

“I’m sorry, Viktor.”

Viktor was silent. They looked at each other, neither moving. Jayce felt the hair at the back of his neck stand and felt a heaviness settle in his heart when he heard Viktor sigh deeply. He watched him drag a hand across his face and lean back against the bench. The sight tugged on Jayce's heart and he felt hope sit weakly at the bottom of it.

“You said that last time too,” Viktor muttered. He looked firmly at Jayce and crossed his arms.

“I don’t forgive you.”

Jayce opened his mouth but was silenced by Viktor raising his hand, signalling that he wasn’t finished yet.

“I can’t forgive you for all the harm you’ve caused, all the sleepless nights you’ve given me. But you are not entirely at fault either and I am not entirely without blame. We were both rash and young. I blamed you for my expulsion, for the lost lives I could have saved. Deeper parts of me still blame you, but I can’t help think over what ifs.

What if I had explained everything to you, would it have changed anything? Maybe, maybe not. I tried to forget everything after our fallout, forget you and focus on my work. Yet you kept coming.”

He meant the times Jayce had come pacing outside of Viktor’s laboratory, then chickened out and left like an idiot. A fool. Jayce’s face burned hot with embarrassment and shame. He didn't want to hear about his past follies but he forced himself to sit there in silence because he wanted so badly to make this work. 

“Then you left Piltover.”

Viktor spoke in a low voice, one that sounded strange, heavy with some unknown meaning that Jayce couldn’t interpret. Oh but he wanted to know. He couldn’t sit back anymore in silence now. He was at his limit.

“Viktor, I don’t want things to continue like this between us.” Just a year ago his pride would have never allowed Jayce to admit this. He found it so foolish, so childish now.

“I know we will never agree on each other’s methods, but I really do mean it. I’m sorry. I spent so much time thinking of what ifs too. If I had just listened to you, or if I had stood up for you.” Jayce swallowed. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair but got his fingers caught in the hairband, having forgotten he was even wearing one. He pulled it off and tucked the band into his pocket.

“I almost died several times out there,” Jayce said. Viktor watched him still, as if Jayce would suddenly change his mind. “I prided myself of having no regrets, but I would always think of how if I died now I would never be able to make things right between us. I wouldn’t be able to say I’m sorry again and that kept me going. When I wanted to give up, when I felt like it was the end I thought about you and I thought about home.”

A soft silence fell between them. Only the heavy breeze swaying the branches overhead filled it. In the distance they could hear the shuddering sound of wind chimes rustling.

“I’m sorry too,” Viktor said finally.

They looked at one another. There was too much between them. Simple sorrys didn’t make everything go away, but it was a start. They both knew it. But the wound between them was healing. Slowly. There was still too much to be talked about and discussed. This one conversation was just the first among many.

They sat together in comfortable silence and for the first time in years Jayce felt almost good about this all. He was still nervous, anxious, unsure about a lot of things but he didn’t doubt Viktor probably felt the same way.

Before they parted Jayce asked if he could visit him down in Zaun. Viktor was clipping his mask back into place, pushing back that wild hair of his.

“Yes,” Viktor said after some thought. He turned to Jayce and he must have been making some weird face because Viktor then was bumping his mask against Jayce’s face. The coolness of the metal a relief against the hotness of Jayce’s cheek.

“One step at a time, Jayce.”


End file.
